I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
