You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize