Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
