My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
