I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..