Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize