There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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