do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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