Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
