ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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