Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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