I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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