If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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