she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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