Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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