As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
