i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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