I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize