He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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