i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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