Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
