uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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