No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
