just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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