Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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