what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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