I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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