This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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