He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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