Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
