I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
