So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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