You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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