I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize