I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
