You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
