And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
