I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
