Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
