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• (713): View more from Texas

  never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  she smelled like a LAN party

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  You really know how to show Monday who's boss.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  And then the night went full on bisexual.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Still fucking the ballerina?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  She can put her legs behind her head.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Enough said

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