Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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  (703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' http://tfl.nu/447f
  Replies (55) Good night (1470) Bad night (17044)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.

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  (401): like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY. http://tfl.nu/lkyy
  Replies (9) Good night (1171) Bad night (5116)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.

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  (702): we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey. http://tfl.nu/4jcm
  Replies (21) Good night (1395) Bad night (2369)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We still going to Happy Hour

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up

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  (267): We still going to Happy Hour (201): Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up http://tfl.nu/e38y
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (1155)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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  (347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9
  Replies (3) Good night (1000) Bad night (669)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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  (425): My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities? http://tfl.nu/eeu5
  Replies (14) Good night (1411) Bad night (521)
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  (619): View more from California

  Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight

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  (619): Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight http://tfl.nu/2z23
  Replies (14) Good night (1853) Bad night (573)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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  (330): BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day http://tfl.nu/u4vh
  Replies (9) Good night (1707) Bad night (745)
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  (858): View more from California

  This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.

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  (858): This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars. http://tfl.nu/bno3
  Replies (9) Good night (1810) Bad night (608)
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  (+86): View more from China

  Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.

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  (+86): Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage. http://tfl.nu/0ehg
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (352)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society

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  (307): I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society http://tfl.nu/0efv
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (337)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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  (303): New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later... http://tfl.nu/qijg
  Replies (4) Good night (986) Bad night (332)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.

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  (908): I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago. http://tfl.nu/reuq
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (308)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers

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  (423): What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers http://tfl.nu/qabo
  Replies (5) Good night (256) Bad night (440)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.

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  (314): I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel. http://tfl.nu/ipcm
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (350)

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