I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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