She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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