I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
