every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
