He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He better not be in your backpack
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
