i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
