So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
