I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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