Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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