I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You need Xanax blowdarts
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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