you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
farters have to be the big spoon...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
