sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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