Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
