A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
