he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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