there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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