hotel room ftw
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
