he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
