How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
