Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
