shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
