May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
