All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
