Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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