all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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