trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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