Don't you send me to vm
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
