I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
