I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have fence marks all over my body
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
