My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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