Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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